When an affair occurs within a marriage, there are a number of different reasons for which it might occur. Whether or not your marriage has a decent chance of surviving will ultimately depend on the reason, but it should be noted that any marriage can survive an affair so long as a few very simple conditions are met. Meeting those conditions however will ultimately determine whether you can pull out of this downhill slump and build the relationship you’ve always wanted.
Understanding the Reason
No one cheats without a reason. It does not necessarily have to be a good reason, nor does it have to be a bad reason. In any case, the reason does exist and it must be pinpointed. What are the most common reasons?
- Communication Breakdown: You fail to talk to your partner or they fail to communicate with you on a regular basis. This could be a result of relationship failure or it could even be the result of a busy work schedule. Either way it must be worked out if the relationship is to survive.
- Lack of Interest: You or your partner begins to lose interest and this can occur for several different reasons. First, you might find that your partner needs something that you simply are not providing. This goes back to the communication breakdown as with the lack of communication comes a lack of understanding, and if your partner needs something, they may not feel comfortable communicating it to you. For this reason they will venture outside of the marriage in order to become satisfied, and it should be known that this is a two way street.
- Anger: There is no real way to justify cheating, but some might feel that it is a form of revenge. While this has been used as comedic plot element, there is absolutely nothing funny about anger in marriage, and one should most certainly keep this in mind.
Whether or not the marriage can survive after the affair will depend heavily on your ability to work out one or more of the above elements. It will become important for you to speak with your significant other and work out the differences, and it is important for you to make sure that this is done in a calm manner.
Working it out
Can you work it out with your significant other? As we said before you must do it in a calm manner or not at all and there are a few things that you will need to watch out for:
- Never make assumptions, these can ruin any discussion rather quickly
- Listen! Pay attention to what your partner has to say!
- Go in with an open mind, take care to not jump to conclusions before the facts are presented
- Understand that marriage is a commitment, and if you have found someone that you loved enough to marry, there is a strong chance that you would miss them when they were gone.
An affair can easily ruin a marriage but you simply do not need to allow it to happen! Use the information we have presented and push your way through this crisis. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself back in the marriage you deserve and forging the future you’ve always dreamed of.
Get more info at Dr. Frank Gunzburg’s site, Marriage Sherpa